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  1. The Valley Of Death

    August 12, 2011 by The Funky Buddha

    Kalga without Elinor and Misha now felt different. Still, here I was at the perfect hideout. And I had a plan. I was going to try a Reiki treatment with Shiva. If that would go well – whatever that means – I would stick around for a few days to do the Reiki Level 1 course. It has been some six years since the first time I had Reiki. Both times in my life was with the same girl. It was a profound experience, the first in the Rajasthani desert next to a big bonfire in the middle of the night, the other one in Goa. She was self-taught, she had been doing it since she was five. Only recently she had come to know that all these years she had been practicing Reiki. She did it only to close friends and relatives, and she never wanted to go commercial with it. It was just too intimate for her.

    Shiva was a very different case. Shiva is now an ex baba, something like a fallen angel. He is in his early 50′s, but he looks like he’s in his 30′s. Thick black hair, muscular, strong and slender. The first thing I noticed about him was his eyes. Eyes of fire, sparkling and shining. Maybe he is stoned or plainly crazy I thought. Or maybe he is the real deal.

    I was very intrigued about his life story. It is very uncommon for a baba to abandon the holy life and live amongst the rest of us, lead a common life, a life of sin and struggle. Was I about to start training in harnessing the life-energy force by Darth Vader himself?

    Shiva has been a baba (a holy man or guru) since a very long time. He used to travel India and give teachings everywhere, blessing and healing people. They would come back to him with gifts, food, money. He had chosen the spiritual way and he was determined to follow his path. He was happy, following his own intuition and natural gifts, and people loved him.

    Then one day he had an accident, a serious one. It was his own time for reflection and understanding of his life. He saw he had done some wrong things in his baba life. It was like the self-realization of a baba. And then one day, not much later, as it happens in the fairy tales, he met a girl. She was from Ireland. She helped him heal and took care of him. Shiva cut his dreadlocks, an immensely painful experience for a baba, put away his lungi (traditional Indian trousers) and started living a normal life, together with his girl. They stayed together for 7 years. He tells me the moment he quit the baba life many of his mystical powers were immediately gone. He used to heal people in so many different ways, so simply. Now, familiar with many different techniques and schools of thought, he has chosen Reiki as the universal, most effective way to heal, and to teach others to heal as well. In a very nutshell (and being borderline simplistic), Reiki is the transference of energy from the universe or cosmos, through the healer acting as a conduit, passing through the person to be healed, unblocking and flushing all negative energy into mother earth who accepts all, good and bad. Shiva never refers to “patients”, but to people. He is himself one. In Reiki, every time a healer is called to heal a person, before starting he must first heal himself. Only if you are clean yourself you can cleanse other people.

    I asked him why he doesn’t go back to the baba life. “I would be a fake, I can’t cheat people. I understood I have been sometimes wrong. And now it is time to make things right. I’m not pure enough to be a baba”. Says a guy living with no possessions, with only a change of clothes and his holy books and his mallas (holy beads). I utterly admire people with no possessions. They are so free. He is strong, healthy, with a clear mind and a pure heart. Having spent a few days with him now and having completed the course, I know he may be even more pure than a baba. But he is humble and content. “Every man has to pay for his deeds”. And he purifies his karma by teaching Reiki and healing people. Living it day by day. Shiva says that healing people cleanses him even further, every time more and more. When he doesn’t do Reiki on others, he feels bad. These days he does Reiki on himself daily, before each treatment. He passes his knowledge wholeheartedly, and that’s what he has done with me. I never intended to do this, but when you meet exceptional people you reshuffle your plans very, very easily.

    I’m in my third day in Kalga and the storm is gathering as I’m writing this. Thick clouds, cold gusts of wind and rain summoning from everywhere. Hands are freezing but the view and the spectacle are impossible to miss. These have been my most quiet, simple, relaxing days in India so far. Good wholesome food, Reiki practice every day, good chats with people and fresh air everywhere to breathe. But as in everything, every paradise has its own dark side. Shiva says there can never be only good, good and bad coexist. Always have, always will. Some times too much bad,  sometimes too much good. They are both necessary as they are both part of existence. I have my troubles with this theory myself sometimes.

    The dark side of this paradise is chiarras, most widely known as hash. The entire Parvatti Valley is world famous as one of the best qualities of chiarras in the world. And here I am, sitting in the middle of it. Drugs and the massive money behind it often attract some pretty dodgy characters that are after the fast profit because they want to live the fast life, and many of them will stop at nothing. In the 4 hour trek between here and Kirriganga that I’m starting tomorrow, more than two dozen foreigners have “disappeared” in the last ten years or so. In the whole of Parvatti valley, no-one knows the real number. This is why it is often known as The Valley of Death.

    Why do people disappear? Sometimes it’s simple accidents. Two weeks ago a Russian traveler slipped and plunged to his death over a waterfall on a trek outside Kasol where I was a few days ago. His wife and his two year old son were waiting in Kasol for him. They found him after several days, when the crows had already started working on him. All his money and possessions were found intact. But no-one knows for sure. The local police stations are fast to classify these incidents as accidents.

    Then there are more complicated disappearances, where people have been missing for years and are still to be found. Some possibly lost their way, run out of water or were immobilized somehow. Others may have by accident walked into a chiarras plantation. But the most spooky of all, is  foreigners out in the wild looking for the perfect chiarras, the cream of the cream as they say here. Others do it for the personal use, and they end up talking to the wrong people in the wrong village. Some weird people up here. Some travelers however look for the perfect stuff, and they will buy the best stuff in large quantities, in the KG’s, to sell in Goa and the South. They are usually looking to cover the expenses of their trip and get a bit of  pocket money in this way. The locals of course don’t like that. Cutting out the middle men is not welcomed in any part of this world, especially  when  we are talking drugs trade. It is widely believed in these mountains that some of these foreigners have met a very violent and grizzly death.

    And so I have been given many friendly reminders not to do the trek on my own tomorrow. I will either go with a couple of Israelis or a German guy. Failing both, I think my fallback plan is to take the village dog with me. He loves a nice walk and he knows the way better than anyone, so no chance I will get lost.

    The rain is by now in “full-power” as they say here and the thunders are continuing in ripping the valley from side to side. Tomorrow I know it will be sunshine again. And the trek to Kirriganga will commence. Shanti.

     

    Next Edition:

    Who Runs The Drug Trade In the Parvatti Valley:

    A) The Italian Mafia

    B) The Russian Mafia

    C) The Indian Mafia

    D) The Indian Army


  2. The Hitchhikers Guide To Enlightenment

    June 20, 2011 by The Funky Buddha

    20110620-090626.jpg

    The memoirs of a wannabe meditator searching for the truth

    It all starts with the premise that a person that is fully enlightened, is a person that lives constantly in the present moment [for more on what the "present moment" actually is, see "The Power Of Now" by Eckhart Tolle]. The present moment is also known as complete awareness, clear vision, vast expansion of consciousness etc etc. In all honesty, it is truly magical to achieve this rare experience, even for a fraction of a second. Maybe you had that glimpse already sometime in the past, but you didn’t know what it was, or how to call it.

    So far so good. But in truth, on an average day, my best guess is that we don’t even spend a single second in the present moment, not even one in the 86,400 seconds that we have in a day. Not a single one. All day we are bombarded with thoughts and turbulent emotions that take us left and right. So the idea is to first achieve one second of stillness, then two, then five and so on until we manage to maintain a seamless presence throughout our day. Sounds simple? Or rather simplistic? In all truth, it couldn’t be more simplistic than that.

    Meditation is certainly one of the paths to experience the present moment. In practice, meditation is one of the most difficult things I have ever tried in my life. On a bad day, it’s a total waste of time; it’s frustrating and demotivating to say the least. On a good day, my minds drifts away at least 50,000 times, before I pull it back every single time and continue, pretending that nothing happened.

    The trick is supposed to be practice and persistence. I’d hate to believe this, but in no matter how much my stubbornness might want to dismiss, it might well be the case. As babies, we think walking is absolutely impossible. How many times of crashing on your face does it take till you face reality and admit it’s not for you? 100, 200, 300? Still, we all made it, because we practiced. Next, it was talking (some found that so fascinating they haven’t stopped since). Then reading, riding a bicycle, finding a girlfriend, making it to uni, learning snowboarding, surfing and so on and so on. Everything in life seems to be a matter of effort and practice. And luck. Or isn’t it that simple?

    Somehow I hesitate to believe that Enlightenment is a matter of effort and practice. If that was the case, many or most of our spiritual establishment, monks, priests and nuns would be Enlightened by now after hard training, and in turn they would have been able to guide the rest of us in life, leaving an army of shrinks and life coaches into unemployment and despair. But that is not the case. So where is the missing link?

    The truth is that most achievements in life involve the intellect, our brain. In contrast, they say true meditation is originating from the heart. What does that exactly mean? Most people try to meditate from their minds, because that’s what they use most of the day. In truth, the intellect has nothing to do with meditation. Meditation is the death of the intellect, the deafening silence of the mind. For example, do you THINK you love someone, or you actually just love them? Some things don’t fit into the intellect, as they don’t come from there in the first place. Hence there is nothing to think about. When you are dead-tired, do you sit and think about the pros and cons of sleeping, and which style of sleeping is best to do tonight, or you just do it, WITHOUT THINKING? Now that you are reading this, are you stopping from time to time to breathe? Do you actually have to think in order to breath? How about when you are thirsty, when you are hungry? When you already love somebody, do you analyze the advantages and disadvantages, or is it something way beyond thinking?

    All the above just happen, and there is nothing to think about simply because they are not anywhere in the sphere of the intellect, of the mind. They don’t come from there, so they can’t be accessed, evaluated, qualified or measured in our brain. Equally, meditation is nowhere near the mind. Actually, it has nothing to do with it. This is why it is so difficult for most of us. So how do we tap into it?

    In this process we have to understand and overcome the barriers of the ego. You’ve heard this word before, haven’t you? I personally despise this word, but I shouldn’t. The ego is the sixth of the seven layers of existence. From gross to subtle, the first layer is our physical body, and the seventh is our soul. The soul is oneness with the entire universe, the drop of water falling back into the ocean. It is the understanding of masters, gurus and rishis that as a person we are not a separate, standalone, independent unit, but a tiny part of everything, of it all. It comes in many names. Existence, Universe, God, Brahman, Cosmic Energy, just to name a few. It is difficult however to understand that, as every single one of us has their own, separate physical body.

    So we all have separate physical bodies, and logically we assume that we are entirely separate entities. Because we think we are totally separate, we need to build an identity, otherwise we cannot survive. And then we self-assign attributes, and do this on others as well, because we perceive them as separate, different beings. And so we are labeled with a name, a nationality, a language, a religion, a political belief, an education, a title, a profession, and the list never ends. It seems we cannot survive without differentiating ourselves, distancing and separating from everyone else, building and constantly validating your own identity (e.g. someone who loses his job might have an identity crisis while unemployed). Sure, we have separate, different physical bodies and that is a fact. But there is much more than we can see. And in the mean time, the little voice tells us all the time what we are and what we are not. This is our ego.

    This is exactly the system that needs to shut down during meditation. Funnily enough, this is the very chatterbox that will not stop during meditation itself. Coincidence? I don’t think so. However meditation is not about killing or eliminating the ego. We need the ego to survive and to function. What we need to do is to understand it, and eventually bypass it, for it is an insecure, loud, spoilt little child that needs constant attention and acknowledgement. It is about mastering the untamed child, make it quiet for some time so we can open up to our soul and connect.

    I was talking today to a very spiritual person here at the ashram. We had an amazing conversation. And when I asked him what is the secret of meditation and living in the present moment, he looked at me with the biggest smile in his face, and said: “Relax, man!”.

    He was right. It’s not what you expect to hear from a guru, do you? But there I was again, trying to rationalize the irrational. And then I noticed that he was right: He was actually much more relaxed, happy and smiling than I was. He was content, at ease, not struggling, pushing, fighting, analyzing. It was more of the art of letting go, surrendering. Meditation was maybe not something to be obsessed about; it was only just a way, or one of the possible ways. It was not a destination, a prize, a trophy. Take my grandmother for example. She is a very wise and content person. She has never meditated in her life. But she prays every day. You may also have people in your life that have found their own way, magically, somehow. People that are content and wise, radiating love. It is for you and me to find out our own way to connect with our higher self, no matter what that way is. And reserve some personal time every day to give it a try, gently, almost effortlessly, to connect.

    So if you are struggling with meditation as much as I do, don’t take any of this too seriously, and most importantly don’t take life too seriously: We are here to laugh, to play and live, not stress, worry and think too much. If we don’t stop from time to time and smell the flowers as they say, we will live a tense, busy, anxious and unfulfilling life, maybe with a lot of achievements but with a sense that we have maybe missed the entire point. And you don’t want to leave this life with a sense of incompleteness, guilt or remorse for things that you never had time to do, enjoy, cherish.

    And just as I was typing that last sentence, here in the middle of this warm night in southern India, a firefly landed on my hand and started blinking, on and off, on and off. Who knows why, who she was, or what she was thinking. She was just blinking. That’s what fireflies do. On, off, on, off. I didn’t even have time to think. And without thinking, I caught myself with a very big smile on my face. If you think about it, in the best moments in our lives we don’t think. So stop thinking about it! Goodnight.

    Posted from Bangalore, Karnataka, India.


  3. On The Way to Parvati Valley

    June 4, 2011 by The Funky Buddha

    30.05.2011 Kalga

    The only thing that would keep my mind busy now was an exit plan from Delhi. I had walked up and down the colorful Main Bazaar on Pahar Ganj about half a million times, dug out every decent Royal Enfield mechanic I could find in Karol Bagh, witnessed a Tibetan hunger strike and visited the Tibetan refugee camp in New Delhi. A week of 42-46 degrees Celsius was starting to take its toll on me, so I had to head north, at the white mountaintops to find the breeze and the cool.

     

    By now I knew everyone in Karol Bagh, and with two weeks to kill north, finding a Royal Enfield to rent was simply too easy. I strapped on the motorbike my backpack, geared up with a half-helmet, goggles and a bandana to cover my nose and month from the fumes, and off I was. It took nearly 2 hours to get out of a frantic dusty Delhi and into the highway, where the freedom was. The 46 degrees of the city started to wear off, but the battle had started.

     

    The battle to stay alive on an Indian highway riding a motorbike, being at the rock bottom of the food chain in this jungle. Swaying trucks, speeding cars, onlooking monkeys scattered randomly at the sides to watch the accidents and the occasional elephant walking on the high-speed lane of a 3-lane highway. Cars often driving the highway the wrong lane, usually the slow one. Occasionally a car would drive the middle lane in the wrong direction. Then at sunset, the deaf old men and the blind old women would start getting out of the villages and crossing the highway, mostly wearing black. Add to the mix random dogs, cats, stray children, coconuts and other merchandise on the tarmac, potholes, rivers, diversions and road works. No lights, no signs, and everyone is on high beam, beeping their horn. It was just amazing.

     

    The first night I spent in Chandigarh, a place so indifferent I have already forgotten by now. Built in a military fashion with perfectly aligned horizontals and verticals, the city is not divided in neighborhoods or suburbs, but in Sectors. “Cheap hotels in Sector 23″ I was told. This is Sector 19, very expensive”. How romantic I thought.

     

    The morning after I was trying to figure out where the bolt that fell last night from my motorbike came off from. We always work in the assumption that a mechanical entity i.e. a motorbike needs for some strange reason every single bit of its components. There is a reason for everything, they say. And there I was, holding this big bolt that fell off last night and still my bike working perfectly well.

     

    I kick-started the bike and rode off, my left foot falling on the ground together with the entire left footrest as soon as I’d started. It took a bit of improvisation, removing further parts that I judged were insignificant, re-screwing the fallen bolt by hand, and I had a footrest again. The second day of driving was equally tiring and scorching. The break and clutch levers of the bike were becoming so incredibly hot from the sun you could barely touch them, and I was getting blisters already from yesterday near the tips of the fingers. I stopped in a little pharmacy and taped most my fingers in paper tape. Wrapping the levers as well made a massive difference. I started climbing into the mountains and found myself in beautiful shady gorges, the rocks from the cliffs cut right over your head dangling from every corner. Lush vegetation, massive trees and a gorgeous river running below. We hit some fog, followed by some brief but heavy rain. The night was closing in on me and I was far from my destination, the small village of Kasol. It was getting cold so I decided to stop for the day in Bhuntar, a lazy little village at the base of the mountain, before the steep ascension to Kasol.

    The following morning, I was about to finally meet my friends, Elinor and Misha who have been waiting for me for many days now. I had met Elinor 5-6 years back when I was in India last time, and I hadn’t seen her since. I kick started my temperamental motorbike on this beautiful sunny morning and started the most beautiful scenic ride on the way to Kasol. I had been thinking hard the last few days, of what name I should give her. A Royal Enfield is a very temperamental motorbike, she won’t start in the morning unless she wants to, and if you don’t drive her nicely you can be sure she will take her revenge on you. I had already shortlisted two names I really liked: Samantha, and Beate. I liked them both too much and I couldn’t decide, so at the end I went for Artemis, the bare-breasted goddess that was much like my motorbike. Temperamental, independent, vulnerable and immensely free.

     

    Almost two hours up the curves and turns, Kasol seemed like my oasis after two full days of dodging trucks and getting smoked in black fumes from head to toes. It was a sleepy little village, with many travelers and many fun things to do. I could finally relax and start detoxing from years of stress in the western world.

     

    I check in my guest house and first thing I bump into an Australian and an Israeli: “Hey man, are you going to the party?” the Israeli guy asks. My perfect hideout paradise bubble was about to burst. Just when I finally found my first unspoiled spot in India, totally untouched and engulfed in lush nature. “Yes big daytime trance party today, DJ’s coming from Israel, everybody’s coming, starts in an hour. Do you have ticket?”. My heart sunk. My paradise was getting taken over by crazy Israeli party organizers in Northern India, or I simply hadn’t gone far off the beaten track yet?

     

    I strolled around the cute village, checking out the bakeries, the shops, the liquor store, the pancake place. They all looked sweet and welcoming. I took a spot by the bridge tasting on hot, deep fried momos. There was no sign of my friends and by talking to people, the best place to find my friends, was, ….the trance party.

    Back at the hostel, Dan and Gill were happy to see me again. Two hours on, they were still there, smoking, drinking and playing cards, exactly where I left them. They were in a hurry to go. I succumbed to a “yeah, alright” and I agreed to join in. We spent another hour doing pointless things around Kasol before we got our act together and finally started heading to the party.

     

    We were stopped by police, myself and Dan practically talking our way in – we both had no passports on us, and the cops wanted us to walk something like an hour to get our passports back from the hostel. We walked straight into a beautiful grassed area, surrounded by pine trees from both sides, then the far end being cut of by a mighty river flowing to the right. It was admittedly an awesome venue for a day party. Great music, great people, it was like a day in the playground. We spent most of the day there, making friends and having fun, dancing and drinking. Still no sign from Elinor and Misha. It was quite possible they weren’t there anymore. I had traveled three days to find them, and they were nowhere to be found.

     

    I got an email from Elinor the day after, there were in a place not listed in any map or guide I had, so I thought to jump on the bike and start driving north as a day trip. It was an one-way street going up north, in rough gravel and dirt, so I figured it must be one of the villages heading north. The road was covered in puddles of mud from end to end, and driving through these slippery mini lakes was not easy – it took me nearly two hours to drive up near the end of the road. I was starting to get an approximate feeling of where Kalga was. And then I was thrown off from by-standing construction workers into dark, moist, badly lit 800m tunnels which most probably don’t even have an exit. Getting instructions from Indians is always an experience you have to take with caution. I once stopped at the end of a T-junction asking a group of 6 men for the way. 3 of them pointed left, and 3 right. Then they started arguing. Then somebody started arguing louder than the rest of them, and they all started to seem to agree. And then they all sent me the wrong way.

     

    So I never entered the dead-end tunnels. I instead realized that there was no road to Kalga, and that I would have to park Artemis on the highest point and start trekking from there. After some 30′ uphill trekking I managed to find their guest house, and eventually Elinor and Misha. I only had 24 hours to see them before they leave, Elinor had to fly out of Delhi and she had to start on her way there. I decided to stay the night in Kalga, we had some amazing conversations and lots of laughs. I rarely meet such in-tune, beautiful couples like Elinor and Misha.

     

    Authentic, loving, people that have put a lot of time in their personal and spiritual development. Not often you meet people in the real world with no neurosis, no illusions, no fear. They are two different people, with often different views, but they are there for each other in every sense of the way. I wish there were more such people around. It was a great night to spend with them.

     

    The following day we had breakfast on the porch with our feet dangling down, warm morning sun rays showering our faces. They took the bus and I jumped on the bike. Down in Kasol it all seemed crazy suddenly. I packed up my stuff and met them for lunch. Last chats, last photos, last smiles and hugs. It felt sad to let them go so soon, but we were smiling the whole way through, we couldn’t stop. They gave me a present for me, and a present for Shiva. Shiva is a very special person I was going to spend a few days in Kalga with. I waved goodbye, cashed-in some travelers cheques for the next few days, and jumped on the bike with my backpack on the muddy way up to Kalga.


  4. The Doughnut Patrol

    May 22, 2011 by The Funky Buddha

    Untitled

    22.05.22 New Delhi, India

    It has been some action-packed days here at Delhi. This is my first attempt to document the vast chaos, anarchy, craziness and beauty that defines this country. I also need to introduce here my humble web site, 6 years in the concept phase, 4 years paying for the domain but having jack-shit on, and finally, actually building the God damn website just last weekend.

    This site has been developed by FullScope, a company that mainly consists of my cousin. As he didn’t have my new mobile phone number and could not contact me directly, it was with great regret that he informed me when i arrived to start building the site that he had only 45′ to build it as his mates had called and he would go to play basketball. He eventually cancelled his game and stayed another extra 45′, so this site was built in an hour and a half. I have already comments from some – mainly ladies – that the colors don’t look natural enough, not too earthy, it needs more styling and is not sexy enough. Frankly, I’m massively proud for after just talking about it for 6 years I finally have a launching pad for my scribblings! Maybe FullScope will do some more magic while I’m away…

     

    India since the last 5 years has changed a lot, and simultaneously not at all. Delhi has a massive spanking-new airport, very very clean, all with rules and regulations that are actually being followed. It felt out of place. A friend had reported to me that 6-7 years ago when she landed in Delhi for the first time in her life, the first thing she witnessed when the terminal doors slid open and a 40 degree heat wave smashed into her face, was a man at his late 50′s sitting in a squat position at the corner of the terminal building, his face showing intense signs of effort. He was only in the middle of doing some “big” business (“small” business doesn’t even turn a head here). Well if you are coming to New Delhi, it is safe now…

    On the second day I moved from my overpriced cell to a more reasonably priced cell. When I was booking my first hotel in Delhi via in the Internet, I must have accidentally clicked on the check-boxes “Please give me your only room that doesn’t have a window” along with the check-box “I’m happy to pay double for an Air Conditioned room, even if the A/C unit can only blow mildly warm air”. It was a 300KG steel unit sitting on a table, making such  vibration that would make the whole bed rattle and at a 120db noise level, it would be challenging even for a koala to sleep. It lasted for 10′ before I decided to resort to the ceiling fan. The ceiling fan was barely loud enough to  cover the mind-screwing echoing sound of the all-night dripping shower  (another check-box I must have ticked), but at 46 degrees Celsius that day,  the night felt like trying to sleep while in a deafening low-flying helicopter mission over the Sahara  with closed doors and windows. And, for God’s sake, which helicopter is fitted  with a dripping shower that you can still manage to hear?

     

    My new hotel came via a midnight connection in a Chai shop with a Japanese guy that swears he is Spanish. He told me of the illegal hotel with no sign he is living in, with no receipts and no paperwork. The hotel has been declared illegal since the head of police changed a few years ago and would not renew the license by giving the usual baksheesh (voluntary donation to the police -  cash donations only – no credit cards, no receipts).

    The hotel manager was a very accommodating man. He showed me to my room and casually asked, “do you take drugs? smoke hashish, marijuana?”. I said “no sir, of course not!”. His response was a bit disarming. “If you want some, please let me know. Also, no smoking outside. Smoke drugs only inside room.”. Right. We in the rest of the world must have it all wrong for asking hotel guests to smoke only outside their room.

     

    On my first night there, and again at midnight as I was going to bed (why all the best connections happen at midnight?) I met the two distressed German girls leaving their room one floor above me, on a search for another hotel. “Little animals are crawling on me!”. I guess everything has a price. She was right. Shorty after laying in bed, I felt something was a bit funny. Thankfully it was not bedbugs, but some sort of weird insects with big wings. It took a couple of minutes of hard shaking before the over-sized hotel manager woke up. He took me to the next room, same story. We finally took it to the room opposite, and that was a happy ending. Still living there, and loving it.

    Much of the rest of my five days here have been consumed by looking for a motorbike to buy. Every single day trekking to the motorcycle district of New Delhi, talking to people, talking to dealers, checking spare parts, accessories, being driven to workshops and trying to cut a good deal while trying to figure out the good guys from the crooks. It’s not as hard as you think. It is actually much harder! The chances here are much higher that you get duped than having a genuine deal. Read some of the harrowing stories at www.madaanmotorsthief.com just to get into the spirit of what kind of criminal dealers I’ve been trying to avoid for the last 5 days. This is just one of them, I had met him a day before I was told of the real deal, he gave me a very good offer and he was very, very convincing…

     

    Meeting exceptional people (I would never call them weird) is an integral part of the Indian experience. Yesterday in breakfast I met this American lady that has built with her husband her own NGO, operating in Kashmir for a religious minority (aren’t you already curious? so was I). She want on in explaining to me that this religion has strong, non-violence ethics like Buddhism (and she got my full attention there), that they eat or harm no animals (okay…), and that they won’t even eat vegetables like carrots because when you pull a carrot out of the earth you are killing it (????). Wait, it’s getting better. They don’t wear shoes so they are grounded with the earth and also not step on or kill other animals (I was still trying to play along at this stage), they won’t shower as they might harm the microorganisms in the water (now she was starting to lose my interest) and they don’t travel, in fact they live in very small, confined communities so they don’t hurt/affect other ecosystems (What? A world of no backpackers?? Are you people for real??). I decided this religion was a bit too intense for me, but I nonetheless  underwent a two-and-a-half-hour rant from her on the issues they are facing, while re-ordering my breakfast at least three times, each time the waiter giving me a blank face like he had never seen me before in his life.

     

    And last night (this was an hour before midnight!) I get picked up in a cafe from a Bollywood agent. Why me? The plot: They are filming a documentary on Osama Bin Laden’s assassination. Already laughing? Read on. No mum, they didn’t pick me for the Osama role, okay?? We are actually somewhere in the Operations Center inside the White House, and Barack Obama is in a conference room with all his advisers watching the assassination operation by US Navy Seals on multiple big screens live! I am one of the government’s top adviser, so I’ll either get to be Secretary of Defense, Secretary of Homeland Security, CIA Director, FBI Director or Vice President. Can’t decide yet. But I would love to be Collin Powell if he was still around.

    The documentary will be aired in one of India’s major TV networks, so being exposed to an audience of more than a billion people is something that I’m fairly okay with. The thing that is troubling me the most is the fact that I will have to stay in Delhi for 3-4 more days for the shooting. And I think I’ve stayed here long enough, time for some adventure. Plus, they will get me to shave, damm it… Sometimes the Osama Bin Laden role has its advantages….

     

    So should I stay or should I go?

    Namaste. Peace.

    PS. Below is why I love all the craziness and all the creativity that India is. Only place in the world you can get away with literally anything! Respect…


  5. This is not Thailand…

    May 16, 2011 by The Funky Buddha

    Secret location / guess which island this is….

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    Posted from Athens, Attica, Greece.


  6. The surf will have to wait…

    May 14, 2011 by The Funky Buddha

    20110514-083241.jpg

    Posted from Agia Paraskevi, Attica, Greece.


  7. 3am

    May 14, 2011 by The Funky Buddha

    awesome poster

    20110514-080146.jpg

    Posted from Agia Paraskevi, Attica, Greece.


  8. Can’t wait…

    May 14, 2011 by The Funky Buddha

    Touching down on Tuesday. 3 sleeps to go, no hotel reservations, no clue where my friends are. Cant wait!!!

    Παρακάτω θα βρείτε το καλοκαιρινό ωράριο του site. Παρασκευες λειτουργουμε, αλλα είμαστε κλειστά για το κοινό λογω συμπαράστασης στις εφορίες.

    Ευχαριστούμε, εκ της Διευθυνσεως.

    20110514-072943.jpg

    Posted from Agia Paraskevi, Attica, Greece.